Tuesday, June 17, 2014

6 People We Love to Hate on the Shuttle Bus

Happy Tuesday Everyone! I hope your day has gone well this far and that I can bring you a laugh with today's post.

As most of you know, I work in Downtown Detroit and with working in any big city, there is never any parking right in or even next to your building at the office.  Because of no on-site parking, most people working in the city have to ride a shuttle bus to work and it has led to some of the most interesting and frustrating experiences in my life.

People We Love to Hate on the Shuttle Bus

1. LOUD MOUTHS: I understand that you think that we all want to hear about your child's latest bowel movement, but if you could please turn the volume down or hang up the phone, that would be great.  I really did not want to start my day off with a visual of your 5 year-old  pooping in their pants.

2. SMACKERS:  I appreciate that you are in a hurry and have not really had a chance to eat your food, but I have not had a chance to eat mine and your infernal chewing is making me not want to eat my breakfast that I have been looking forward to my entire commute into the office.  I am almost 100% sure your mother taught you to chew with your mouth shut.  Interesting Fact: Getting angry at someone for loud breathing or loud eating is called Misophonia.  This is considered a legitimate brain disorder.

3. SBD-ERS: 
Dear fellow bus rider, 

You are not fooling anyone with your "shifting in your seat" we all know and can smell what you are up to. You could not have held that for the less than ten minutes we will be on the bus? 

Sincerely, what in the world did you eat today?

4. CUTTERS: Let me guess, you are running late to work? Well guess what, I have already been standing in line for the past ten minutes waiting for the bus to get here.  You will get on the bus and will get there in the same amount of time that you would have if you had just waited in line like the rest of us.  Now you have made everyone mad and potentially put your life in danger.

5. DEATH GRIPPER: That is a lovely bag, ma'am.  I only know this because you just hit me in the face with it on your way down the aisle.  As a woman, I understand how important a purse is, but please have the common courtesy to remove your bag from your shoulder as you walk down the aisle to find a seat.  I might be more inclined to compliment your cute bag if I was not getting so up close and personal with it.

6. TWO-SEATERS: This one goes hand-in-hand with the death gripper.  I see that you spent a great deal of money on your bag, ma'am.  However, your bag does not have a butt and therefore does not need it's own seat.  Please do us all the courtesy of putting your bag on your lap and letting someone sit next to you.

So what do you think? Did you laugh? I sure hope so! Obviously, these are meant to be humorous and not taken seriously, but should at least be acknowledged.

Do you have any other shuttle bus complaints? I am sure I could come up with a few more examples, but six seemed like the appropriate amount of complaints for today.  

Question of the Day: What are your biggest commuting complaints?

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